.gone not for too long.

was enlightening to meet old friends today.caught a movie with them.

then afterwhich met up with my love, kamal. i kinda feel so proud of him. he's in army now and seemed to be learning stuff. went to sheesha for a moment then went to vie bar to finish up my bottle. got a lil high.(:

midthrough my baby,love,honey,sayang,FUZZY WUZZY. thank you my love for dropping by. i know you were tired.seeing you made my day. and to seeyou look oh so darn nice made it much worthwhile. you looked magnificent.(: if only i could fold you into my bag and bring you to kl and we can have a real good time shopping with my mom.(:

the feeling is wierd.unexplainable.whenever i seeyou. my heart light up till it melts. make my tummy go round and round. make me smile. make me have butterflies in my stomach. my friend once told me to live a life that people would love to read about. and i would like to have your name written in that life of mine. regardless the duration. every second spent with you will always be kept in a small diary in my heart. every action you make is captured in my brain.every second lost is a heartache. i could spend the whole night just being with you and not say anything but just listen to you breathe. i can see us together as one. i can see us together and be free. no one is holding us back. the people watching above us in this long drop has a big smile and not having any worries. they shouldnt. cause my heart has settled down. settled down right outside your door. waiting forever for that door of yours to be unlocked and open. i would wait for as long as i could to wait for that door of yours to be unlocked and be with you. nothing is a farfetched attempt when it concerns you. you can say all you want that this is all sweet words i would say cause its the "honeymoon period". but i would like to prove that wrong. im not like any of your previous ones. im not anyway the same. not one bit. i will want to show you the real meaning of love. how its supposed to be.how beautiful it is. not like how you've been through.its gonna be beautiful epic story.i promise you this.

sometimes you scare me when you say your'e scared if whether i can take you as you. but i will telll you for sure, im up for it.

at certain times i might feel uncertain about things happening that involves me. but you.when you turn up everything seems secure.its that security that ive been vying for. none of which ive gotten. but only you. you somehow have that.

gonna be away for a short period of time. but its gonna be long without you by myside. gonna missyou so much but my love for you would still be strong as ever.hugs.

goodbye everyone.im high(:

.EightofNine.

Reassurance is what we both need. im always gonna give you that.


i'll break that barrier but you have to give me the right tools to do so.

i'll need to be given directions to that barrier.i'll do whatever it takes to break it.

lets open up an empty book and write down a whole new story bout us.

lets hold hands and never let go. i want to spend my day with you and not worry bout time.

i won't let go of you. no i wont.cause i'm in love with my fuzzy wuzzy.

.Feel me.

my back hurts really bad. im hungry.sleepy. back is really sore

.No i won't.

i spent the whole night
cant stop waiting for you
but i think you wont be home tonight
to hold on you tight.
i cant wait for one day
where you'll end up at my place.
and never worry about time.
feelings occur when you're in love
so will you take my hand
cause
no i won't let go of all the things that we have.
no i wont give up of you not just yet
in this balcony we shall dance
once the clouds above us clears up
forever in you i will get lost
forever in me you'll be free
even if i know i might fall ill go on nonetheless
its never a far-fetched attempt when it concerns us
tomorrow will always be surprise
you just have to embrace yourself
for the worst, for the best
cause
no i wont let go of the things that we have
no i wont give up of you just yet
in this balcony we shall dance
once the clouds above us clears up
no i wont
no i wont

.Sensitive.

the other night when i bumped to him. first impression i knew straight away he was reallly really down. as we continued conversing, he sounded more depressed. my heart shrank. i felt really sorry for him. the moment he left, i felt like crying. crying for he is doing his best to be strong and not let go and just fall. crying for i cant do anything to help. i felt so useless. all i could say was be strong. how pathetic. well i really feel for you bro. you'll make it.i know.

Then the same night at home, conversing with her, i too felt like crying during one of the topics that we spoke off. me being too nice. thats where it all started me to think. how not to be nice. and how vulnerable i am to people stepping on my head. i always thought your loved ones will be the least likely to do that but previous relationships have proven me wrong. baby, prove that its true. i still believe that its not true.
The following day,at work, the entire 11 hours, i spent my time alone. that didnt help me. no it didnt. negative thoughts all went in. spent almost throughout the 11 hours, just feeling negative,sad,sensitive,lacking self-esteem. then when i met her, i just sank. sank really deep. so deep i had to hold back a tear. till now i dont know why. throughout the night i was really sensitive about stuff. i tried to block it off by stoning but that actually made it worst. but love, when you asked me am i ok, it felt really good.really. i felt much better.


i'm having one of those periods. a point of time when i start to doubt my own abilities. see things negatively and in the end i feel sad and suffer. i needyou to give me assurance. keep my chin up.

even to you ill be sensitve. especially you actually.
do you want to know why?
cause you mean something to me.every single you make create emotions to me cause i like to notice.
hope its not scary because its not suppose to be scary. i notice cause my mind is filled up by you.during work all i could think of was you. wondering what you were doing and concluded in the end you were sleeping(: so didnt want to bother you.i'll only disturb your sleep if i need to wake you up or i have to tell you something important.a lot of people in vivo city started looking like you. when she hugged me, i lit up a moment hoping it was you. but to my dismay it wasnt.


im the kind of guy will hang on to what you say and will straight away letgo if your actions
contradicts it.not really straight away. more of doubt.but all it takes to fix it is reassurance.that was what was lacking in my previous relationship. only now have i realised i need reassurance.


hope its not a farfetched thing to do. hope im not asking too much. if it is. tell me.ill understand.

as for this phase im going through. im pretty sure it'll be over really soon. like in 5 mins? heh.

toodles everyone.

where's my fuzzy wuzzy

.its you and me.

its been a long while since i felt this way.
no one knows what i feel
you are the reason which is keeping me breathing.
breathing to see what will happen tomorrow.
you keep me on my toes.
not so as to creep but to be aware of whatever is happening.
i want to fall away with you.
with you in my arms that all matters regardless the consequences.
i want to hold you close but im worried itll make you feel restricted.
i want to kiss you but i'm scared you feel to doted.
i want to fall for you but im scared you'll doubt it.


take away all of those will you.
the buts.
lets take a ride.to the sunset.

.Venture in this darkness.

venture with me in this darkness
our deepest fears should be left behind
i hope we will be just fine
and you're not far behind.
together we will roam inside
and discover new things outside
just hope we wont forget one thing
what you mean to me

oh why
did you left me behind.
oh why
did you leave me on the ground
oh why
oh why
oh why can't i see



ahh. still not done. a random song(: