.I gotta whisper.

its really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet.

(:

i adore you.that what it means.i think so.haha.

my feet is killing me. my tits are aching.my eyes are burning. my ears are tired.

did you guys know after a night of clubbing, it takes about 3 days for your ears to recover totally. well that is some did you know questions. random

it was wierd last night.no matter how hard to ignore, it just crept in. couldnt stop myself from letting my senses run wild.

HEY. MY UNDERWEAR IS WET.WANT TO PEEK?

.Good riddance.

i think i got the wrong person.

but my philosphy stays.

Parading to the lord

Be like you all have been.
i prefer that way.
not caring.
i prefer that way.
not knowing.
i prefer that way.
now that you tried to "care" you're just making things worst.
dont try understanding me.
i wont let you all.cause this is how things suppose to be
i prefer how i could do anything and not care what people would say.
wadnering around aimlessly looking for people to talk to.
finding one and just sit down and waste away the hours.


i find out one thing.
you're the one adding fuel to the carnage.
waiting to explode whilst within me implodes.
with fiery and anger.
just walk away and mind your own problems.
dont have to worry i got a map with me and a compass.
ill find my way and will never get lost.if i do i know who to look for.




god.

You're all that i want

You're everything.

I walked so far only to find that you are so near.
i climbed so high only to find that you are here.
sitting close you held me.
feeling so lonely it wasnt suppose to be.
cause youre here
cause youre here


stop it will you?
i won't listen to anything.
i will keep my ears shut.not trying to be rude but not wanting to know anything. cause i know it'll make me move.move to make you feel better. but its not suppose to be that way. you need to settle down and calculate youre desires.its so far fetched that even i cant give it to you

Worries are not worth it..

Retrack back all my tracks,throw it all away i will to ensure everyone is happy. talk all you like cause i dont really give a shit.

i've been doing this for 19 years and why now should i change. you all need to understand me cause ive been spending the last dont know how many months understanding you guys.

did you know how difficult it was to get myself accustomed with a huge family whom i found out i really loved?

did you know how difficult it was for me to settle down?

did you know how difficult it was for me to swallow seeing my bestfriend being doted by another friend and he returning it?

did you know how difficult it was for me to get used with having friends after being left alone for almost 7 months?

did you know how difficult it was for me to find out what is wrong with me?

it has been great fun yes. but when trouble appears you all scatter. why? dont. stick close. stay near. watch our backs. cover our weaknesses. WE ARE HUMANS after all did you all realise?

humans learn from mistake yes. but prevention is better then cure.

with a family this big. im sure this wont be the last tiff that we will have. but that is good. cause it'll make us stronger.

but you all seemed to be always complaining or maybe thats just how i look at it.

if we are meant to be. one day we all will be one again.

Deafening, keeping you from sleep

i long to find the messenger.
but ive got a long way to run




collective soul.. ahh.. such beauty their song. need to sober up.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

here i am. hoping you're by myside. then there's lovehunters.hahaha.

dang. hope i wont fall.








i said nonsense. dont listen to it.









no where near the truth.








like i always said. time will tell

Its cool to take these chances

embracing fall forever. im falling in your eyes.breathe deeply from this envelope it smells like you and i, cant be without that scent its filling me with all you mean to me.

why does it seem that every road likes to wind up fast on him, she's all he wants.she's everything. she is all that he never had.

my worries your desires

well that is a very random title.glooogaaaaaaaagek

feel like vomitting.

ergh. hate it. the feeling. but i love to vomit.haha.call me bulimic but im not.
aim higher and you'll fall down harder but you'll end up stronger. dont you think so?

shit. i don't know what to do

today has been the laziest day of the month.

lazied around at home. suddenly i find myself at my aunt's place. then stoned there not knowing what is going around.

went back home. lazied around again.


numb laaa.i think im numb thats why.numbess from what i wonder.from the ill feeling that i had since what?a year ago? man, thats a heck of a long time.sometimes i wonder if im really over it or am i just dwelling on it but not feeling negative about it.but sometimes i wonder is it really because of what happened last time?
cause im not sure myself. like they say, " feelings happen and we dont really know why "
i would love to know why. cause i need to get out from this rot ive been swamped in. this rot has not been anywhere healthy for me. even im rotting. rotting from emptiness. i need food to be filled in my heart. food being love. my heart has been shrinking.shrinking ever since ive been numb. it all just started not knowing when not knowing why.

but i'll always tell myself this.what you never had you'll never miss.what you'll never get, you'll always miss.

i need to conjure myself to narrate a beautiful story of you and us, but i dont know how when where to begin.

wait.dont go

time stood still.
feelings run wild
maybe you'll go for awhile
but wait.
don't go
cause im here to stay.
dont run away
cause im here to stay
hope that you would stay for awhile
and talk to me for one last time
like you mean it
like you mean it


really.maybe im lonely

Continuation

its great to be stoned. sit around.do nothing else but listen to music or play guitar.

managed to tweak my previous song unknowingly.haha. it sounds better now i guess.


WHERE ARE YOU?


time
will let us know
if love would show
to show us what we are
move
its getting colder
without you by myside
turn
im right behind
if only you werent blind
but now that you've left emptiness all thats left
when will this charade be over.

where are you?
where are you?

feel
no more
when you're not at the store
standing by the door
write
to me
and tell what would it be
the story you and me
when everythings gone i would hope you'd remember
the things that we've done

where are you?
where are you?
not opening my eyes
.got lost in disguise
.said you wouldnt go
said you take me away
but now that you've left emptiness all thats left
when will this charade be over.

where are you?
where are you?


like says. time will let us know if love would show. to show us what we are.
i think it means something here.heh

beeeeeen quite sometime ive beeeeen out on a date. sobs

renamed

you see past all the lies.
you take it all away.
it keeps me needing you.

been sickly this past week. clubbing didnt help i guess.it sort of made my condition worst.
buuut it was one hell of night.


i think you've been sorely missed. by me.
should we ever gaze the stars under the moonlight
with nothing else for us to hold on tight
but us.
i will wait for that day to come