. My Enigma .

ive got to deal with it she says.

help me out wont you?

chose me over him she says

love me then will you?

its always the same for me. i feel like giving up everything. every single thing that i desire. because it seems i can never seem to get it no matter how hard i try. ill always fall back down hard. i feel like giving you up. it seems i cant get you to loveme.it seems i cant give you what you need.it seems i falter at everything i do. it seems im not right for you. it seems hopeless to me.

but you know what made me do otherwise. its how much i care for you,how much i love you. that what made me stay and try really hard to make things work. if not we would never have had those conversations. if not i wouldnt be typing this. i spent every odd night lying on my bed thinking what i can do to make things work or where did i go wrong.all i ever think of now is you.i dont know what it takes for you to be sure again. sure what you're feeling towards me. ill do whatever it takes. but i need you to do the same for me too because we're in this together. i want you to find that feeling in you.i want you start asking yourselves questions. that feeling that has been eluding you for so long. so long you get lost.

lets start afresh baby. lets forget the past and think about tomorrow on what we can do to keep this alive. to write a beautiful story.lets not make things complicated anymore. let it just be us and only us.

. so dont go away say what you say, say that you'll stay, forever and a day in the time of our lives.cause i need more time. yes i need more time just to make things right.

remember that song?well it sure do strike alot of relevance to us dont it?

MY ENIGMA

hidden underneath me i see nothing

now shadow is my only friend

and fear becomes paranoia

come talk to me 

will you be

my enigma

the hidden truth wont be revealed

but i know our love was real

burn inside

im not losing you

im not losing you

crying inside

im not losing you

im not losing you

this incarceration,

these walls ive build around me

im tired of hoping.

this enigma is pinning me

did he whisper sweet nothings to you?

were you the reason for him to see tomorrow?

were you his enigma?

you're my only hope

lets start over again if we need to

because

chorus

lets start over

and make things right

i know we can

i know we will

chorus

. whispering sweet nothings .

fasting month's here.fats please go away.

hmm.nothing's been going on. not much to excite too. works been on hold. got some shit going on there. too lazy to bother for now.

then there is my situation. always i can never run away from such. it pains for me to know that always the only thing i can blame is for myself.

people say i ought to make it about me more often then always bout her. well i agree to that but i think it should be about us. it never was huh?i've always been afraid of being unreasonable to you huns. thats why i seldom say things that might prevent you from doing things no matter how much it kills me. never have i been so lost.you will never know how much thought have i been putting in everything about this. us you me.everynight is pain stricken because its as if ive got alot in my mind. still i will just lie down on my bed and ask myself lots and lots of questions.maybe im just thinking too much. but i think you can take it all away by giving me answers and also giving me the chance to ask you and show you.

you know the other day when we spoked about the situation, at that point of time, i was just scared. fearing the worst. fearing things aren't in my hands anymore. waiting ive done for so many times. but always to no avail.my heart shrunk.

then there's that guy. i dunno what the heck is going on down there. but all i know is i hate it when you keep things from me. i just hate it. the more you keep things from me the more i will dig. the less you say the more i will think.who is this guy anyway? he just appeared from nowhere. and suddenly you both out on a date. i resent that you know. i think that is disrespectful of you to do so. not that you cant go out with your friends but on how you handled it. you were keeping me in the dark for way too long. i felt like screaming at you. i knew that guy somehow spelled trouble from the day that i found out he was pestering you to go clubbing with you. then pestering you to meet him or whatever not. i know more then you think huns. not that im trying to act smart here but i think i ought to be told more. i just dont want to make things worst. as if its not bad enough.

when i ask you who you're meeting or called you etc, dont ever say you're friend. please. i just dont like it.

i know you're past has been haunting you everyday. but i think its about time you leave it all behind and start afresh with me baby. because without that you're not giving me any chance of succeeding. there will always be a fallback for you and that leave me no chance.i know it was a tough past but hey, everyone got their demons and sins in the past but its how they moved one that made them a better person and i know you can do that too.

and lastly. i wouldnt want to pressure you on anything. but i know i am. its all because you left with me no choice. im dying in here you know that. wondering whats gonna happen tomorrow. 

im not gonna give up on you easily. cause i know you're worth the while. because you're my fuzzy wuzzy. hope you read this.

. whispering sweet nothings .