. six days at the bottom of the ocean .

geez . whattafuck was in my head. hahaha. damn. sorry to aida. sorry azleen if the previous entry made you girls confused sedih or what ever not. didn't meant to put it that way. SO YEAH.SORRY! I RULE. I DON'T SUCK. THEY SUCK.WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. 

Oh and dont worry baby its all behind me now. i dont give a fuck about them already(: all i care about is you. don't want to make you worry,sad,disappointed etc. sorry! we shall show them just how strong we are and that you have biceps! heeehee. 

loveyou all okay! you azleen nasir.lovelovelovelove. 

MY NAME IS SCRAPPY COCO. 

. It sucks, forever .

time and time again, the same thing happened. why do i deserve such fate. maybe thats too strong of a word. why do i deserve such luck. do i not deserve at least the decency of pity from people. maybe respect is too much to ask. so i ask for pity. pity me for not having the upper hand in things that i should dominate. pity me for being irresponsible. i'm begging you people. please. these treatment is killing me slowly as i succumb to the truth of things. i can't take being treated with ill respect. knowing i exist in one's life yet ignoring that simple fact.

 

it sucks knowing you're not as good as you think you were.

it sucks feeling afraid.

it sucks knowing perhaps for all these while in life, you were at fault.

it sucks being stepped over all the time.

it sucks when it goes in a cycle all the time.

it sucks having no respect shown.

it sucks feeling helpless.

it sucks feeling useless.

it sucks knowing you suck.

it sucks, forever.

my heart is crying out for help. call me emotional. 

but to say the least, im not delusional.

i deserve better. but why. why the fucking hell is it repeating itself. fuck. it fucking kills me. mother fucker. it fucking bothers me a lot nothing could be put to blame on me and her. maybe me but not her.she's been perfect. i can't ask for more. nothing is anywhere close. i apologize for all these problems that happened. she don't deserve such luck. should've known better of this selfless ignorant pain in the ass people. FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK. i should've fucking known better. FUCKING CHEEBYE . 

but for all this. i'm not anywhere near giving up. but its almost a certainty. i've given up on trusting other guys related to her. i'm sorry. yeah self-centered, but its about time i start thinking for my fucking self.why should i fucking bother about other people that i don't relate to. all i get is shit.

i vow to learn from all these but i need guidance, patience, faith and a good sense of understanding.

my head is hurting damn bad. my eye crying for mercy. my body begging for forgiveness to rest. but nothing would give in till my mind can rest at ease.

i love her so much. i really really do. i'll do whatever it takes to make things much easier, better and unforgettable.i promise her that.

breathe,eat,sleep. its all about her.can't do without it.

she's my cinderella.

. my worries your desires .

its been a really tiresome but most definitely enjoyable week since. went to escape theme park on monday for the FIRST time. yeah i know i suck. then to Sentosa on wednesday. both of which with her. (: escape was a very memorable trip for i never got on an amusement kind of ride before. earlier on i wondered why. upon taking our first ride, i realize the reason. i had MOTION SICKNESS.ack.

but perhaps it was due to the food i just had before the ride but howells i knew it was damn giddy. she had the time of her life laughing her ass of at me. hahaha. damn embarrassing. but overall it was fun. real fun. sadly though 3 of the best rides were down. sad for her hooray for me! hahaha. oops. 

on wednesday, as we planned previously to spend the whole day at sentosa.  but damn shit ass mofo, it rained when we were taking the monorail to sentosa. fucking ass mangkok. we walked all the way to tanjong beach in the drizzle. just as we reached our preferred spot which was under the shelter. POURED heavily. decided to swim, poured even heavier. such luck. lazed around. went to take the luge ride.which was THUMBS UP.(:

now here i am at home on the comp while she's partying at mos. hmmph ): come back laaaaaaaa. i bored. 

hope you keep your word huh. i really really hope so. for not i'll be damn disappointed. 

will post new pictures reaaaaaaaaal sooon. not in the mood to go through the hassle of uploading pics into the comp and especially on blogger. 

days spent with you is always rosy but days spent away from you is always lousy. 

i don't want to miss a thing

. Like Us .

i hope tomorrow's sunny day

cause i need some rest

to clear my chest

all the voices in my head

won't go away

not today

and time will tell us stories

to you

to me

on how we used to be

on what we used to see

i hope

i wish there's an emptiness in this room

to hear you breathe

i wish

i hope i'll catch up on you

and fly away

to a place we'll find peace

we can breathe easier

and i will see you there

please wait

don't go

and i'll wait for you there

ahh. still not done yet this song. lotsa random stuff in it. so yaaaaaaaa. anyways my brother is getting married on 10/10/09 . coool or whaaaaaaaat. 

today is a long day and im super ass tired. bye

. you're my queen .

IPHONE. DAMN. REALLY falling in love with that silly phone.

bah. anyways. had a long talk with her. and we've decided we're gonna try to kick our smoking habit. props to us! hopefully its not just talk. hahaha because i really want to stop smoking. it is such a pain in the ass on my wallet and not to forget health wise. who doesn't know yeah? there's more habits that we intend to kick actually. for me the top priorty is clubbing which is in fact not a habit but an unhealthy lifestyle. haha. it really digs in deep into your wallet. so in short we are actually looking into cutting down our expenses on such unnecessary things. more for me actually. damn. 

to think of it with all the money spent on cigarettes , i can use all that for my bike practical and buy me a damn bike. stupid fuck. 

OH. CAN DO RESERVATION FOR IPHONES. FUCK. i'll be in national service by the time the phone comes out. shit ass mother fucker. 

. Its not a sprint .

hello blog. 

didn't really had the time to update regarding my indonesia trip since i came back so here's the chance. but i'm too lazy to go in depth so let me describe it this way. it offered all of us a wide spectrum of the human emotion. happiness, sadness, grieve, excitement, frustration, fear, paranoia, confusion, i am serious. it was a very enjoyable trip in all and one that i will always remember.

as we venture deeper into our relationship, we will find skeletons in each others closet or so to say find out unexpected things. confessions,regrets,dark secrets and so on.  its all for the good for the sooner we know, the earlier we can absorb it. but its not about how fast or how early problems occur etc. its all about patience,dedication, trust, honesty and all the rest will take its place. its about how we are in handling certain issues. how well and how capable. 

its not a sprint to the finish line, its a marathon.

. idle .

waiting for my chance to go out.ahhh.

thats all. byeeee