.imissyou.

i missyou so much.

like how the desert misses the water.

i needyou so much.

like how the plant needs the sun.

been drinking all this while to just drown my sorrows away. to drown my emptiness.i dont know why im thinking of you all the time.it burns like the poison in the pill. everyday i wake up,ill always sleep back after seeing no messages from you. no intention to meet the day knowing im not seeing you.been terrible all this way knowing i dont have you. you can say "ahh, he's just like this because of his ego or this will end soon". everynight i pray, hoping the next time i open my eyes, you've figure out what you want and what you need. and that is me.boldly,ill say to you this.i dont want to run away anymore.

i tried not acknowledge you just now when i came down to parkway. i tried to pretend i didnt care. but i just couldnt. i know charlene told you what i told her just now. its just the fact i can't bring myself to tell you that.

call me psychotic,stalker,wierdo,desperate or whatever you want. because i know im not. all i want is you. there is no one else.who can take your place.

i greatfully miss your laughter, your pinches, your mood swings, your stubborness.your everything.

just now we were talking about kamal's birthday bash. and it reminded me that was the first time we actually went out together.we started to see each other. i still remember that night when we were outside mos,sitting on the curb of the sidewalk, you said"i still wanna party". and i asked belle for your number cause i didnt have the guts to ask it from you.then we went out for the first time, we went to far east.to east coast to eat.rojak. i still remember that.sat  we were walking thru the new build thingy dont know what its called and i gave some money to the handicapped elderly, and you said how sweet of me to do that.down at the ridge and just talked and talked.then came the twist about someone disagreeing us seeing each other. we fought through it.we were still unsure about what was going on between us then you came over to my place. i kissed you and you said"what was that for?"i told you "it doesnt matter" and continued. brought you to take the dhl ballooon. ate at arab st. went to the zoo for the whole day.

all of that is still vivid in my mind. thats how much i cherish it. thats how much you mean to me.

sigh.

you're like a burning candle. a gentle wind will blow off the flame away.thats how precious and fragile your love is. its so meticulous.

my friends now dont even bother to listen to me when i tell them how im feeling now because ive been saying it since the day we called it quits.every single day.

im not trying to win your sympathy here but just so that you know.by the time you read this prolly im in newzealand already.but it doesnt matter. just as long as you read it.

my dear fuzzy wuzzy, pinky bear misses you dearly and he cares for you still greatly.he still longs to hold you tight and gaze the night sky with you.it hurts not being with you and i can't take it anymore.

pinky bear