. Self righteousness .

am at work now. can't sleep cause have to man the desk. stupid. life has been kind to me. had its ups and downs. since the time i last blogged, i have been gaining lot of weight man. its kinda fucking depressing to have people make jokes about your tits you know. fuck. so as of yesterday i have made a plea to myself to do something about this. i want all those jokes to end. fuck. my self esteem,confidence is all flat now. its not about trying to impress people on how my body looks but more to feeling good about yourself. by feeling good about oneself, then he can face the world better and be more confident in everything that he do.hope god will give me the strength and will to help me through this. i'll show that i can.

ambulance life is somewhat enlightening. other than those stupid misleading calls, i tend to get to see all kinds of people and the situation that they are in. one that stands out in my mind is seeing old people needing ambulance assistance. there was once this case, an old lady complained of having a bad headache. After getting her history, i realised what a sad life she has to go through now. i may not know her but i know she doesnt deserve it. she is living with her husband in a one room flat, has 4 daughters and NONE has ever visited her since she got married. that is such a sad thing man. 4 daughters and none visited? i believed she raised her children well but is this how they repay back to her? not that she asks for it but she deserves it right? the only reason why she has a bad headache was her tv broke down,the only source of happiness and entertainment that she has and couldnt sleep because of that.

i came to a realisation.that this is not an isolated case. i've seen a lot of such situations in the six months i've had so far. i've seen a mother wanting to commit suicide because her son wants her out of his house. fucking cold hearted. how can we do such things to our mother?

our mother raised us up to who we are now. she moulded us to be a better person and have a successful life.even if we fail in life, our mother are the only one that won't degrade us.she love us for who we are and for that we should forever love her for who she is.we owe everything to our mother. without her we are nothing.