. Just lay with me. .

a thousand words can never explain the anguish he's feeling.

fuck. emotionally draining is all i can say for what he is going through. when  almost is never good enough.when dreams shatter in a split second. when sadness is an understatement. keeping it to himself showing his character. unselfish and strong. i will always be here for you my brother. i love you always and forever.

its been such a long few weeks. first with my band than news regarding my brother. ergh. mind fucking. self-confidence was like the current economy crisis. there's only one person that i need to thank and that is my babylove. without you i wouldn't have known how to get through that sticky patch. just by looking at you smile gives me strength. your words always seem so well constructed. you make me push myself further. make me believe in myself. i love you so much babylove!

home club gig was the first time ever i performed as a band. asian beats didn't count in my books.hahaha. surprisingly i was very comfortable on stage. wooo. hahaha. and to see people moving to your music was so unbelievable. with my friends in front of the stage smiling and watching us was the happiest moment of my life. for me now that i've thought about it. i have no reason to feel upset about because for my virgin performance you couldn't have asked for better. why should i feel upset? beacause some pricks just had to say it bluntly regarding my singing. i know where my standard falls. i know i did a pretty sucky job that night. any improvement? yes. first thing first who the fuck are you to comment me such a way. not constructive, not motivating. YOU are the reason why my confidence was low. you say things that i could neither tolerate nor do anything about. your sentences always end with a fullstop. no replies required. cheebye. make me angry only.

other than that after talking to babylove,alfrey and faheem, i agree to all of their comments,criticism. all of which were constructive and i can point out and say yeah i think i should do this instead. thank you all for your advice. i know and feel i can do better. time and  patience is all i need.

with that till next time.