.Sensitive.

the other night when i bumped to him. first impression i knew straight away he was reallly really down. as we continued conversing, he sounded more depressed. my heart shrank. i felt really sorry for him. the moment he left, i felt like crying. crying for he is doing his best to be strong and not let go and just fall. crying for i cant do anything to help. i felt so useless. all i could say was be strong. how pathetic. well i really feel for you bro. you'll make it.i know.

Then the same night at home, conversing with her, i too felt like crying during one of the topics that we spoke off. me being too nice. thats where it all started me to think. how not to be nice. and how vulnerable i am to people stepping on my head. i always thought your loved ones will be the least likely to do that but previous relationships have proven me wrong. baby, prove that its true. i still believe that its not true.
The following day,at work, the entire 11 hours, i spent my time alone. that didnt help me. no it didnt. negative thoughts all went in. spent almost throughout the 11 hours, just feeling negative,sad,sensitive,lacking self-esteem. then when i met her, i just sank. sank really deep. so deep i had to hold back a tear. till now i dont know why. throughout the night i was really sensitive about stuff. i tried to block it off by stoning but that actually made it worst. but love, when you asked me am i ok, it felt really good.really. i felt much better.


i'm having one of those periods. a point of time when i start to doubt my own abilities. see things negatively and in the end i feel sad and suffer. i needyou to give me assurance. keep my chin up.

even to you ill be sensitve. especially you actually.
do you want to know why?
cause you mean something to me.every single you make create emotions to me cause i like to notice.
hope its not scary because its not suppose to be scary. i notice cause my mind is filled up by you.during work all i could think of was you. wondering what you were doing and concluded in the end you were sleeping(: so didnt want to bother you.i'll only disturb your sleep if i need to wake you up or i have to tell you something important.a lot of people in vivo city started looking like you. when she hugged me, i lit up a moment hoping it was you. but to my dismay it wasnt.


im the kind of guy will hang on to what you say and will straight away letgo if your actions
contradicts it.not really straight away. more of doubt.but all it takes to fix it is reassurance.that was what was lacking in my previous relationship. only now have i realised i need reassurance.


hope its not a farfetched thing to do. hope im not asking too much. if it is. tell me.ill understand.

as for this phase im going through. im pretty sure it'll be over really soon. like in 5 mins? heh.

toodles everyone.

where's my fuzzy wuzzy