. Traces of history.

baby is away for her school trip to KL. i am missing her already. boo. 

come back soon k baby.

NS life is such a bore especially now undergoing medic training. fuck the instructors are such a pain in the ass. step kilat only. nabeh. the only thing that is holding me from wanting to out of course is my desire to aquire the medic skills and also life at station. heard its good. 2 day work 2 day off. ahh. that i hope will be good.

recently left caravent. or rather they kicked me out. in truth it hurt abit being kicked out of a band for i know i only showed them very little of what im able to do.they also didn't give me ample time. seems like they are rushing for time. partly thats the reason why i agreed to leave. i feel they are rushing things too fast and at the same time not having the initiative to tell me of their plans. leaving it to me to approach them with my hectic weekday stay in camp schedule.plus i also feel that i was never attached to this band as a whole. at times i felt left out during jam sessions. "we don't know how its like to have a vocalist" they say. fuck it. 

so as for now im conjuring up a new line-up. which so far has eugene. baby's gonna tryout for the drums. other than that we are short of a few more people. most definitely a bassist and a guitarist.for me this will be extra motivation because i want to prove to them that i have it.they were wrong all this while.

oh. celebrated my 21st birthday.woooo. had a surprise birthday party at my house. hahaha. i was fucking shocked i tell you. was from soccer and the moment i opened my house door my group of friends jumped in front of me with baby carrying the birthday cake. haha. first time sia have a birthday surprise. eventhough things didn't go as planned due to wet weather i was ecstatic and very happy that all my close friends and the most important person,baby was there to bask on my special day. thank you everyone for the lovely gesture. love you all.

need new material for songs. shit.

. Dynamite .

woowee. lotsa things to catch up on. its as if this blog is dead. aiya. no time lah. POP ALREADY.wooooooooooo! like finally. 

got posted to medic so i'll have to go through 6 weeks of theory and fucking injections. wearghh. patience haikal, after this life will be good.

damn i miss my brtc life already. how things seems to be so easy even with the regimentation. over at cda the fucking medic instructors nak step on je.

my birthday is coming soon! ahhhhhhhhhh! turning 21 already. so damn fast man. still vividly remember my 20th birthday. hahaha. celebrated valentines recently with babylove. was my first ever celebrated valentines.wished it turned out much better though. sorry sayang! but nonetheless im very happy now being with her and how thing's have been going on.nothing much to complain. 

oh except for caravent and me have separated mutually. dang. howells. i don't lose anything.

my birthday wish will be to lose my tummy by the end of the year! hopefully it will come true. a but as for now, i think im at the fittest shape in my life. hahaha. finally pass my 2.4km! hahaha. first time ever! now what's left is my pull ups. with the help of my brand new bench press and pull up bar, i think that will be possible. heh. we shall see.

certain things i've not been able to do eversince serving ns and how i've missed it dearly.

1. waking up on late afternoons

2. meeting baby almost every day(surprised how we manage to adjust to things now)

3.playing soccer frequently

4.watching soccer

5. meeting my friends randomly for supper

6. having long hair

bah ns. faster ord lah

. Down Under .

hate this feeling. sucks. 

. it drains my enthusiasm .

its a life changing phase at this point of my life. as for now i take it on a day by day basis hoping the next day will be a good day. then looking forward to the next day hoping i get to see the outside world.

in all honesty, it hasn't been that bad but the feeling of "i might be doing guard duty on my book out day" is the worst feeling ever coming out tops compared to the sucky book in feeling.

on book out days, i feel so downright happy and have fun that sometimes i forgot that i am actually serving ns and have to book in on the sunday. all the time, i just wish that feeling lasts forever. being with babylove,having fun and laughing at random things is so blissful. sadly, that feeling fades on the day i am booking in.

now i have a major decision to make. should i or should i not go for ERS. The pay is attractive, i will be super fit but i will undergo 6 months of living hell. can someone help me sort this out please. at this point of time, i'm leaning more to not going for ERS but still im not too sure of that decision.

ns aside, im currently in contention of being in baby's band. weeeeeeeeeee. they gonna play lifehouse,jason mraz etc. woooooo. so shiok. somemore SHE will be in it. wah. best nya.but i might need to quit caravent which im currently considering. 

alamak. 2 more hours book in. sian

. Not too pleasing .

finally, i'm serving my national service. its been a long wait now its gonna be another long wait for it to finish.so far it has been pretty good. the physical training for the first week was quite bad because it has been awhile since i last exercised and thus i had body cramps all over during the weekend.

the people in my dorm thankfully are okay. no mats no ahbengs. all are fun people cept for those few bad apples. nonetheless, the people whom i'm close with are cool.

as for now im facing a major dilemma over choice of vocation. firefighter or other vocation? fuck. everyday this thought will bother me. scary. firefighter is a very attractive vocation but i will go through six months of hell which im not too sure whether i have the mental strength to go through.

the first week was quite tough for me having to handle regimental life and other commitments. they say this point of your life is the biggest test that one will face and as far as i can say, im doing pretty good. her understanding and care has made this transition way easier for me.thank you babylove. you are the reason that makes every single day go by quick. for i know with every single hour passed,im an hour closer to listening to your voice and every single day passed, i'm a day closer to meeting you.you are my purpose.

before ns, weekends were nothing special to me but now, every weekend is so damn precious. every day i live in fear of having my weekends burnt for guard duty.

on top of all that, i'm so in love with my babylove.hugs and kisses!

fuck. tomorrow book in.ergh.

, Are Computers Male or Female?

 Are Computers Male or Female?

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories 

. Just lay with me. .

a thousand words can never explain the anguish he's feeling.

fuck. emotionally draining is all i can say for what he is going through. when  almost is never good enough.when dreams shatter in a split second. when sadness is an understatement. keeping it to himself showing his character. unselfish and strong. i will always be here for you my brother. i love you always and forever.

its been such a long few weeks. first with my band than news regarding my brother. ergh. mind fucking. self-confidence was like the current economy crisis. there's only one person that i need to thank and that is my babylove. without you i wouldn't have known how to get through that sticky patch. just by looking at you smile gives me strength. your words always seem so well constructed. you make me push myself further. make me believe in myself. i love you so much babylove!

home club gig was the first time ever i performed as a band. asian beats didn't count in my books.hahaha. surprisingly i was very comfortable on stage. wooo. hahaha. and to see people moving to your music was so unbelievable. with my friends in front of the stage smiling and watching us was the happiest moment of my life. for me now that i've thought about it. i have no reason to feel upset about because for my virgin performance you couldn't have asked for better. why should i feel upset? beacause some pricks just had to say it bluntly regarding my singing. i know where my standard falls. i know i did a pretty sucky job that night. any improvement? yes. first thing first who the fuck are you to comment me such a way. not constructive, not motivating. YOU are the reason why my confidence was low. you say things that i could neither tolerate nor do anything about. your sentences always end with a fullstop. no replies required. cheebye. make me angry only.

other than that after talking to babylove,alfrey and faheem, i agree to all of their comments,criticism. all of which were constructive and i can point out and say yeah i think i should do this instead. thank you all for your advice. i know and feel i can do better. time and  patience is all i need.

with that till next time.